Have you ever baked your own birthday cake, gave your kids money so they could buy you a Christmas present, or cooked a great dinner that no one showed up to eat?  Have you ever bought your child a car only to have him roar off into the sunset with only a wave of thanks? Have you ever replaced tires, transmissions, batteries, etc. on a car you don’t ever drive? Have you ever paid college tuition bills for 16 long years?  Picked up prescriptions and dry cleaning; or done mailing or banking with never a nod of gratitude or a sense of appreciation? Get the feeling it’s just become expected?  Hello!–  It has! Maybe it’s time for change.

When it comes to our kids, we start out with such great expectations — it starts snowballing at birth (He will say his first word at two months, walk at one year, and be potty trained by two.) Reality check!  Speech pathologist at three,  occupational therapist at two and a half, and (God help us) still in Pull Ups at four. Fast forward — She will make varsity (never mind she’s only in seventh grade), State Team, National Team, scholarship? Harvard, Yale, NYU?   Why set ourselves and our kids up for disappointment– maybe lower expectations are in order.

It’s too late for me.  I’ve learned not to expect even a night of board games to turn out as expected.  There is hope, however, for the next generation of parents-to-be.  We could start a campaign during pregnancy to advocate against “great expectations”. (During Lamaze class, perhaps?)

In any event training a whole generation could take some time. Not wanting to drive you to suicide or homicide, I leave you with this thought– we may not get everyday gratitude or recognition for meals that miraculously appear every night, an unending supply of razors, soap, shampoo, etc., or even a new car; but a handwritten note on graduation day or a phone call just to say “I love you”– that’s priceless!